Chapter Text
Matt and I were just laying on my bed, on our phones. “Uhm i was thinking about something” i said and he put his phone down “Yea?” He asked.
“Have you told Chris..?” I asked, and he looked down. “No. we haven’t really talked much lately…only for the car videos and stuff” he said.
“Don’t you think we should like, tell him?” I asked.
“I don't know if i can do that..” he sighed “I’ll do it, he’s probably upset with me already. Can’t really get any worse” i said.
“Right, just go easy on him. If he’s even half as upset as I was, then it’s bad..” he said and my stomach dropped “Oh. Right…i had no idea how you felt when Chris and i-“
“No, I know, it’s fine. I can just imagine what he’s feeling is all” he said.
“How were you- if you wanna talk about it of course. How were you coping?” I asked “To be completely honest, it felt like my heart had been ripped out…but nobody knew. And I couldn’t be upset with you because you weren’t mine to begin with..” he said and my heart just broke.
“That night that you guys became like official or whatever. I hooked up with Anna's sister, just to think about something else” he said looking down.
“Did it help?” I asked “No. Made it worse actually…left her apartment crying. I asked her not to tell anyone..” he said.
“Matt…I guess I can see why, at the time. But you were killing yourself. Did you not tell anyone at all?” I asked “I spoke to Nate a couple of times, but that’s it” he said.
I scooted over and lifted up his chin. He looked at me with glossy eyes “I don’t ever want you feeling like that again..” I kissed his nose.
Then both his cheeks, as well as the rest of his face. Making him laugh.
“It was worth it. Because now you’re mine..” he said “I think deep down I’ve always been yours..” i said, making him pause and soften for a second, before kissing me.
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Nick had told me that it was just Chris and him home and Matt was at a therapist appointment. So I figured it was great timing to talk to Chris.
Nick was in the living room “What are you going to say?” He asked “Honestly? No clue”
I walked downstairs and knocked on his door “Yea?” He asked and I opened.
He was just sitting on his bed with his phone. He looked up, seemingly very surprised to see me.
“Luna” he said “Hi, i was just wondering if i could talk to you for a minute?” I asked “Sure, this seems serious” he chuckled.
I walked in and sat across from him on his bed. “It doesn’t have to be” I smiled.
“I was just wondering how you were doing?” I asked. He looked confused, but then slightly angry “No. I’m not doing this” he said quickly, standing up.
“Doing what? I’m just asking a question” i said “No you’re not. I know exactly why you’re here. And I don’t want you to pity me Luna please..” he said
“I’m not pitying you. I just feel like we haven’t spoken in a while and I just wanted to know how you were doing..” I said.
“How the f*ck do you think i’m doing? Seriously” he said getting frustrated “Well obviously not great..” i said.
“Correct. It’s kinda hard to be okay with how f*cking quickly you moved on” he said
“Excuse me? If I recall correctly. You were the first to kiss someone else” i said.
“Only because I had to! I saw you and Matt and I couldn’t handle it, so I just kissed the first person i saw..” he said and I felt so bad.
“You know I went right in and kissed Bryce…?” I said “Yea, Nick told me..” he sighed.
“I just, I guess I’m not mad at you. It’s just gonna take me a lot longer to get used to than i was expecting..” he confessed.
“Okay…I completely understand. Which is also another reason why I came..” i said and he looked confused.
“I still care about you so much, I hope you know that. Which is why I wanted to ask if you’d like to not have me around for a little while?” I asked “What does that mean”
“Just, if I’m hanging out with Nick or Matt, it would just be at my place. So you wouldn’t have to see me…” i said and he softened.
“No” he said “No?” I asked.
“You’re still one of my best friends, that would just be stupid. I can’t go that long without seeing you. Of course at the moment, every time I look at you it hurts, but it’ll get better…it has to right?”
“Yeah of course It’ll get better..” I sighed.
“Right..” he sat back down “Sorry i just got frustrated”
“Don’t apologise..”
“So you and Matt are actually like..”
“Yea”
“Okay” he gulped slightly. “I guess I should be happy for him. He’s been in love with you for so long it was getting pathetic…” he smiled softly.
“But you were too..” i said “Yeah i was..” he looked up at me.
We shared a look, like we had many times. A part of me felt like maybe I was finally over it.
But then he smiled softly “But i really mean it…if you’re truly happy. Then I’m happy for you” he said “Thank you..”
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Matt was over at my apartment. I walked into my room, as he was taking a mirror selfie.
I walked up smiling. He wrapped an arm around me, that slipped up to hold my neck, lifting my chin to look up at him.
He took the picture and it was the cutest thing ever. I went to my vanity ‘cause we were going out for a drive.
“Have you seen my claw clip?” I asked “Here” and he handed it to me.
I started putting my hair up “Would it be okay if I posted this?..” he asked, catching me completely off guard.
“Like on instagram?” I asked “Yeah like a story, and this song” he showed me as I stood in front of the mirror.
I completely softened. The fact that we didn’t need to have a fight over this. He just genuinely wanted to post it “You sure you want to..?” I asked.
“Of course I'm sure, can I tag you?” He asked and I melted even more.
I finished my hair quickly and turned to him “Yea you can..” I smiled.
I sat beside him, as he was making it look good.
I leaned up, placing a soft kiss on his jaw, just feeling so happy that he wanted to do this for me, without hesitation.
I placed another one “Lu..” he smiled “hm?” I asked and just continued kissing his neck.
“What’s with you?” He chuckled and posted it, putting his phone away.
“Just happy..” I smiled against his skin “Well i’m happy too…but we’re supposed to pick up Larray and Sab in like 10 minutes” he said holding the back of my head “Ugh fine” i sat back up.
“It really means a lot to you that I wanted to post that, doesn’t it..?” He asked and I hated the fact, that he could see right through me. I nodded.
“I know that it’s gonna change a lot of things with the fans and stuff, of course you’ve been through it, but still..” he said “Yeah i kinda feel like i'm almost used to it now”
“And it’s so worth it…if the fans don’t want me to be happy then that's on them” he said and i just melted.
The response to that picture was crazy positive. People were saying such sweet things and making edits and it was so happy that we were in a great place.
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I had slept over at their apartment in Matt’s room and gone up to get a drink.
To my surprise, there was light from the refrigerator “sh*t you scared me” Chris chuckled and quickly remembered to lower his voice.
“Sorry, can you just grab me some water?” I asked “Yeah of course” he grabbed a bootle, handing it to me.
We both sort of paused, holding the bottle. In the light from the fridge, we both sort of just looked at eachother knowingly.
My heart physically hurt, with the flashbacks of us dancing and eating cake at 2 am when we were still together.
We heard laughter upstairs because Nick and Madi were having a sleepover.
This took us out of our little moment “I should-“
“Yea” he smiled and let go of the bottle.
I just kinda rushed back into Matt's room.
As I got back into bed I felt him move slightly, as well as pull me back into his arms “Where'd you go..?” He mumbled, all sleepy “Just had to get some water” I smiled.
I buried my face completely in his neck and he wrapped his arms so tightly around me.
He softly caressed my hair “I’ll let it slide..” he said and I smiled against his neck, placing a soft kiss on it.
Whatever I had been feeling a minute ago, had completely vanished, and I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
—-------------------------------------------------------------
We had both been super busy, so a couple days had gone, where we hadn’t really seen each other. But I was finally going over there.
Madi was in the living room, when i walked in “Oh hi” i smiled. I went straight to Matt's room “Uh I wouldn’t go in there if i were you. He’s got the flu we’re pretty sure” she said “sh*t really?” I said “Yea”
I went into his room and sure enough. He was completely buried under a bunch of blankets and napkins everywhere.
“Oh honey..” I said and heard him cough.
I closed the door and walked over to sit on his bed “I was gonna text you, I feel like i'm dying” he sniffled smiling.
He rolled over a bit to look at me “I’m so sorry..let me feel your forehead” I reached up “You’re burning up, let’s get some of these off so you don’t overheat” i said and took off a couple blankets.
“Is there anything I can do..? Hate seeing you feeling miserable” i smiled “I’m fine really” he smiled all sleepy.
“How about I go make you a cup of tea with that thing in it, so you can sleep it off?” I asked and he kinda lit up. He picked up my hand kissing it “I love you so much, yes I would love a cup of tea”
“I’ll be back in a few minutes” I smiled and went into the kitchen where Nick was “He's still dying?” He asked.
“Yup” I chuckled and started making him some tea.
“God i feel single” Nick sighed and walked out.
I finished and walked back to Matt with the cup.
“That smells so nice,” he said, sitting up a bit.
“It’s chamomile” I smiled and handed him the cup. He carefully took a sip and it looked like it already helped.
He smiled, looking drowsy. His cheeks and nose were all red and his hair all messed up.
I just reached up and cupped his cheeks going to kiss him. But he stopped me “No you’ll get sick too” he said.
“I don’t care..” I smiled and kissed him anyway.
He drank the whole cup and passed out in my arms like 10 minutes after.
—-----------------------------------------------------
I woke up the next morning and he was still half asleep in my arms, but slowly waking up “How are you feeling babe..?” I asked, rubbing his back “A little better..” he just pulled me closer and buried his face and I kinda liked that the roles were reversed.
I moved my hand up into his hair and he let out a satisfied sound “You comfortable?” I smiled “Very..”
“f*ck, we have to film a podcast episode in a couple hours..” he said, sounding so tired “Aw i’m sorry honey…How about i make you another cup of tea? Might help your throat at least” i said “But i don’t want you to go..”
It was so cute, that he was so sick he wasn’t really thinking about what he was saying and just being genuine.
“It’ll only take a minute, and then I’ll be right back…” I said, squeezing him slightly “Okay, thank you..” he moved a bit, so that i could get up.
I got a look at his face and just softened “Matty..” I reached up and cupped his cheek. They were still red as well as his nose “I’ll be quick”
I went into the kitchen as Nick walked in “He’s aware that we’re filming in like an hour right?” Nick asked “Yeah he knows” I said making another cup.
“The last time I saw him, he looked gross, so you must really be in love if you actually wanna take care of him” Nick laughed “He does not look gross, and yeah” i smiled “Well that’s gross” he chuckled walking out.
I went back to Matt, who was surprisingly sitting up “My saviour” he smiled as i sat on the bed.
He took a sip of it and again it looked healing.
I reached up and cupped his cheek, then felt his forehead “You’re not as hot anymore” i said and he looked up “Well of course you are, but your temperature is down” i chuckled.
As I looked at him, I was taken back to a memory. In our first year of knowing each other, we both got covid. My parents were out of town, so we ended up quarantined in his room for like two weeks.
“Remember when we had covid?” He asked and I smiled “I was just thinking about that” I said.
“Did you really not know I had a crush on you?” He asked “Well at the time i had a fat crush on you too, so probably not” i chuckled.
“You did?” He asked, smiling “You’re kidding? I was panic texting Alahna about the fact that we had to share a bed” i chuckled.
“I was doing the same with Nate, god we were stupid” he chuckled “Well, I continued to be stupid” he finished.
“Oh don’t say it like that..” i said “In my head I felt like I’d given you covid on purpose, so that i could spend time with you” he confessed.
“So? That was when I realised I had a friend for life. Years later I don’t feel like I’ve bonded like that with either Chris or Nick "I smiled “Really?” He asked “No. I don’t think there’s anyone who knows me as well as you do..”
“Ditto” he smiled. He finished the cup “God i hope you can’t hear it too much on the mic” he said trying to clear his throat.
“Why not? It’s hot, I’m sure the girls will love it” i smiled, making him laugh softly “You think it's hot?” He smirked lightly and I nodded.
He leaned over and lifted my chin “Hopefully it’ll last a while then..” he kissed me softly, making me melt
They went to the podcast studio.
I had to go cause I was hanging out with Larray so I just texted Matt.
“Don’t drink anymore tea, if your voice isn’t raspy anymore, then don’t come over later(jk if you don’t come I’ll cry)”
Matt point of view:
We had just started filming and my phone buzzed in my pocket. I read the text Luna had sent me and chuckled “Matt! Phones away!” Nick said.
“Sorry, also sorry to the viewers I'm very sick currently” i said into the mic “yeah it’s gross” Chris said.
We finished the episode and I was still feeling like sh*t, but all I wanted was just to see Luna.
I drove to her apartment, she opened the door and immediately smiled “Oh sweetie when you’re actually this sick, you didn’t have to drive here” she hurried me inside.
“I wanted to see you..” i admitted “You are seriously too adorable when you’re sick..” she cupped my face softly, before walking me into the living room.
We ended up having a movie night.
We ate some food and then put on another movie.
She laid back on the long part of her couch. I walked back from the kitchen and then had an idea.
I crawled up between her legs. Wrapping my arms around her and laying my head on her stomach sort of on her boobs.
She giggled “Matt babe, that cannot be comfortable for you” she said “Oh but it is..” i said and yawned.
I was so comfortable, she also pulled the blanket up over us.
I felt her hands go into my hair, kinda massaging my scalp. I don’t even think it took more than 5 minutes before i was sound asleep.
Luna point of view:
Matt fell asleep on me and I just paused the movie. He was being so affectionate and clingy when he was sick and i was absolutely loving it.
His phone buzzed on the spot beside me. I read a text from Nick, “You feeling better?”
I didn’t know his password, so I just grabbed my own phone and sent a snap to Nick.
I took a picture of Matt on me “He’s passed out, probably still needs those antibiotics. But he’s okay”
I sent it and he replied back “Good, jesus christ he looks sick”
I eventually fell asleep as well.
I woke up to my phone ringing. I don’t know why it wasn’t on mute.
Of course it woke Matt up as well “I’m sorry” I massaged his hair again and picked it up. It was Larray FaceTiming me.
In his sleep Matt had moved up and his head was on my chest kinda buried in my neck.
“Girl I need you to hear this- wait. Aw hi mattypoo” he said and Matt smiled sleepy “Hi..” he rasped.
“Matt is sick, but go on” I smiled and just continued to play with his hair as Larray was explaining some drama; with a mutual friend of ours.
“Anyways I’ll see you friday. Bye Matty” “Bye.." Matt sniffled and I hung up.
“Sorry you had to listen to that..” I pulled him even closer and kissed the top of his head “That’s okay, it’s entertaining” he chuckled “Do you feel any better..?”
“I can breathe a little better now, but still sh*tty” he said and I smiled at the fact that his face was kinda smushed into my tit* “Maybe we should get you to a doctor or something..” i said “In a couple days if i don’t get better, then we can go” he said “Okay..” I said slightly worried.
“But for right now I’m good with this..” he said “With what?”
“You. Being right here, I don't think I’ve ever been this comfortable..” his grip tightened around me.
“Me neither actually, you’re kinda working like a weighted blanket” i smiled making him chuckle “Well good. I just don’t wanna go home.. Nick is gonna make me work or some dumb sh*t. But i just wanna rest and be with you..” he said, making my heart melt “That’s all you need to do right now baby…no rush” I rubbed his back as well.
“Oh Nick sent you a text, asking how you were doing. And of course I couldn’t reply from your phone, so I just snapped him back from mine” I explained “Oh that’s nice of him to ask..”
“But wait why couldn’t you, oh let me just show you my password then. In case you need it another time” he reached over for his phone and i was just baffled.
“You really wanna do that?” I asked “Yeah why not? You don’t have to tell me yours or anything, but I trust you more than anyone, of course you should know it” he said “No i'll show you mine too” i smiled and showed him.
Then he showed me the numbers for his “What do those numbers even mean?” I asked “Oh it’s our birthday 8/1, and then yours 3/9 and then 03 of course” he looked up at me and i just wanted to cry.
“That is the cutest thing i have ever heard..” I said and he smiled burying his face, back in my chest “It’s easy to remember..” he said defensively.
“Sure, loverboy” i said making him huff “Are you ever gonna let that go?” “Nope”
“You can sleep a little more if you want to..” I said playing with his hair again “If you keep doing that, then I don't really have a choice..” he said “You like this?” I asked “Yes ma’am”
“God that makes me feel old” I chuckled.
“Sorry, please keep playing with my hair babe..” he said. He didn’t use that word a lot but i really loved it “much better..” I said with a yawn.
“I’m not sure I want you to get better. I absolutely love it when you act like this” i smiled “Like what?” He asked “Just, I don't know, being so cute like this. And wanting to sleep literally on me” i chuckled.
“Well I didn’t realise it was this comfortable, I’ll definitely be doing this more often don’t worry about that..”
I woke up a couple hours later. Matt still asleep. His phone buzzed and of course I didn’t wanna go through it or anything, I just looked at it, and my heart kinda sank.
Julia had liked his photo. I knew he had no control of that, but still.
I just put the phone back and let my mind run wild, until I heard Matt waking up.
“Mhmm maybe this isn’t the best position, my back kinda hurts” he chuckled, waking up fully.
He moved up and placed a couple kisses along my neck.
Then lifted himself up and kissed my lips slowly “You look so beautiful right now..”
It was like he knew I’d just seen the Julia thing “I mean you always do…but f*ck” he smirked lightly before kissing me again, and suddenly i had forgotten all about that like.
